Most of my days are trying to keep the kids occupied with activities to keep them busy so they won’t be bored at home.
I would often have to wait until the weekends or evenings to have sometime to do other things.
I finally had some time to work on some projects i was wanting to work on that it felt so strange to me. Had some family visit and they spent some time with the kids so I can have sometime for myself to do whatever.
The strange part is having “me” time. I dont always get tons of times and when I do, i’m left trying to think of what can i do? Hahha.
There’s so many things I could do but i had to narrow it down.
I worked out in the morning which i prefer more than doing in the evening. Walked to the hairsalon with and listened to my headphones on the walk there. I havent walked with headphones since maybe college when i used to take the bus.
Did some sewing project, some other project for some site I do collaborations for.
As i was working on my sewing, i listened to some music and it felt like i was able to get so much stuff done. It felt nice having sometime to finish up projects for myself:
The kids shared their hugs and stories of activities for their day out and great day. It was like having a recharge day for myself for being busy all the time. A great treat for someone who rarely gets to think of things for herself.
Although I had the day to myself, all I kept thinking is, I wonder how the kids are doing. Is that weird? Hahah.
I always feel bad when the kids get owies but times when they rush over to get a hug or a kiss makes me feel like I’m a bit of a superhero. even though it’s doesn’t do much to change their owies, it’s the acknowlegement that someone cares enough to ask if they are ok. who doesn’t like feeling like a hero once in a while?
I remember my family was saying about someone, “ahh they look so old” to which i replied, “everyone gets old, it cant be avoided. We will all look old.” I hate thinking of it cause I do get self-concious now and then. I don’t get carded for id anymore….cue sad tiny violin.
I think when we see people on tv and seeing how they age, “omg they look soo old” is that common reaction. Maybe it is just a shock with all the enhances on people and magazines or tv that we expect everyone trying to look young we are no longer use to seeing anyone growing old gracefully anymore.
Although we will all look and be older doesnt mean I cant enjoy wearing my marvel or wonder woman pyjamas right? Waiiit, am i going backwards??
I remember watching an old Jetson episode where some friend of Jane Jetson called to video call her in the morning. She woke up all tired and unready and puts on some mask of makeup and hair all done ready to greet her friend who also did same the thing.
Sometimes I think to myself, hey if I can have some type of power, one of them would be to be photogenic. Especially when you have relatives who LOVE taking pics and they find humor taking pics of you at the crappiest moments and posting it on social media.
Pics like this:
1-stuffing my face with food
2- deer in the headlights look
3-catching me in mid sentence
4-wrong angle…just wrong
If only there was a way to instantly have a photoshop filter to work in real-life on my when I’m caught of guard during those moments.
I found pics of those floating around in the facebook world of my relatives. Good times, eh? I think Jane Jetson had some great idea going on in that episode.
A friend asked me, would you pause your life with the kids. I answered, no.
I would press forward to them a little older so I can maybe sleep through the night again. Ha.
I added if you asked me this when i was younger (21)if i was ready for motherhood, no, because I wanted to work on going to college and working a bit after college, have my career first. I knew I wasn’t ready yet and at that time I didn’t for sure if I wanted a family cause I was still growing up and figuring out my own life.
What made me realized i wanted a family?
First moment was when I babysat my neice who was about 6 or 7 at the time. My sis picked her up and her face lit up and she hugged her because she missed her. It was a different interaction between them. I thought to myself, hmmm, i think I want that someday.
2nd moment is when i told my niece that i’m deciding which clothes to keep or donate.( i used to buy clothes all the time)
I did a mini fashion show and she lined up all my stuffed toys on the bed with her in the middle. I tried each outfit and she would say yes or no. It was fun.
Those were my main moments where I knew I Wanted a family someday.
When it finally happened, it is surreal seeing anlittlle mini version of yourself running around giggling, singing, dancing and being silly with.
They still think I’m funny, cool, having say yaaaay mommy when they see me!! i am neither cool or funny unless you enjoy nerdiness and cheesy humor lol but they dont know that yet. And have them run to me because they are happy to see me, it’s the best feeling ever.