I never realized how much friendships change. You meet new friends and old ones change during stages of life. I remember telling someone, I think that we run into some people for a reason. Maybe with some purpose. Although it can be a short time, they can leave an impact on our lives whether it’s positive or negative. Their purpose maybe was either to teach us some lesson about ourselves, or to be a memory to inspire us or help us overcome adversity.

Trying to be friends with new people is hard for me. Although I had to do it for my kids to meet other kids to play with and to maybe break out of my shell and get to know people again.

Friendships goes through so many stages. I had many best friends through my lifetime as a kid. Then it narrows down as you go through life. You think that all the friendships would stay the same but as you grow and your life changes so does the friendships. It’s strange cause I didn’t think things would change after getting married and having children.

Now, it’s not just about me and going out until whenever I feel like. It’s me having to keep the kids busy and home in time for their naps. So far, I have only met a few who understand it but not all share the same view of having a routine to keep and trying to avoid melt downs.

you keep talking about how some friendships used to be but when in the present time, the stuff to talk about is always about how things were. Present conversations are filled with pauses and times awkward silences.Then it is back to square one.

We moved to a city where there is always a revolving door of friendships. I didn’t realize how one year I would finally meet other mom’s to connect with. Then later they move away and lose contact. It’s quite hard to build attachments.
While there are some friendships that fizzled out cause they decided to move on with their lives, i am left re-evaluating myself and asking my husband, did I do something wrong?
I am back to being that awkward nerdy pre-teen trying to look for a seat to sit and trying to start up a small talk conversation( without stuttering) out of nervousness. Treading carefully and hoping they don’t get scared of my nerdy-self.
I feel like times I’m just building a wall back up to protect myself from realizing that I am back to being alone at the lunch table.Then I remembered what I said before. They served their purpose and moved on with their changing live and I served my purpose in theirs.

The lesson for me is this, i thought the days of being that “person” alone at the lunch table would be done as an adult.

This train doesn’t stop. You just keep getting a new ticket to ride. Many stops along the way but there is always a train to catch.